I met a corporation
and because I had a hunch
it had been adjudged a "person"
I invited it to lunch.

Oh, that naughty corporation!
As far as I could see,
it had not been taught its manners--
I got no R, S, V nor P.

But since I was the hostess
I had duties to perform though
this corporation person
was well outside the norm,

So making up the place cards
put my thinking to a test--
Should I just write General
and forget about the rest?

And Incorporated is too long,
and so, what do you think--
would it seem uncouth of me
if all I wrote was Inc.?

Then, again, there's gender
to complicate my tale.
Is corporation female
or is corporation male?

Somehow it seems that neither
is appropriate or will fit
but it goes against my training
to call a person “it.”

Well, I had invited it
so I assigned it to a seat.
Now I had a problem--
what do corporations eat?

Was it carnivore or vegan?
Lactose intolerant?
Some persons can eat seafood
while other persons can't.

There were peanuts to consider
and corn syrup issues, too.
If I fed this so-called person eggs
would it suddenly turn blue?

What a jolt at lunchtime
when the corporation knocked!
When the door was opened
I was shocked, I tell you. Shocked!

I'm used to thinking “person”
as my neighbor or my dad
but was sorely disabused
of all such thoughts I might have had.

There were janitors, clerks and typists,
lawyers up to you know where,
receptionists and file clerks
and scientists to spare;

There were CEOs and CFOs
and all sorts of other Os.
How this “person” would fit my dining room
the Supreme Court only knows!

 

Patricia L.H. Black
Copyright 2011

 

See Patricia's Poem on YouTube